I must confess

Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse (Little, Brown and Company, 2007) and Breaking Dawn (Little, Brown and Company, 2008)

(Okay, although I can count on the fingers of one hand the people who have read this blog , I feel obliged to include a spoiler alert here. I give everything away.)

I just read Nicole's rational response to my thoughts on the first two instalments of the Twilight saga. It was like my alter ego speaking. Everything she said seems correct, in particular her criticisms of Meyer's writing and her qualms about our young couple's enforced chastity. Thinking back over the last two books, which I also read with alacrity, I cringe at so many things, not least Edward's one point three million schmoopy remarks towards his lady love. The character development is shallow and the story as a whole lacks complexity. When I went to a local bookstore to purchase #3, the lady behind the counter said, "Let me guess - you were up all night reading the last one and you couldn't wait to see what happens." I wasn't up all night, thank you very much... but I might have been if I didn't have a husband who insisted on an 11 o'clock bedtime. It seemed appropriate that the cashier gave it to me in a brown paper bag. I am that ashamed of myself.

But whereas Nicole could hardly bear to finish Twilight, I ate it up. Same goes for the rest of the series. When Bella kissed Jacob, I thought, "No! No!" When at long last she consummated her relationship with Edward, I thought, "Yes! Yes!" Just like pressing a button. Why is this? Has it been too long since my last trashy novel? Perhaps. Did I see the Twilight movie and get swayed by Robert Pattinson's good looks? Possibly. But the bottom line: I am lowbrow. Not in a cool idiosyncratic way, just straight-up mass-market. My ability to suspend my disbelief outstrips my critical faculties. I also enjoy romantic comedies.

Acknowledging this will not deter me from arguing the merits of these books. I was especially impressed by the patched-together behemoth Breaking Dawn. I didn't think Meyer would make Bella a vampire, and she did. It was a gutsy move because it is not right, not PC, that our protagonist should have to alter herself so fundamentally in order to become "complete." It's creepy. And there is more fascinating creepiness: Bella loses her virginity only to wake up covered in bruises; then she endures a staggering birth/vampirization ordeal. Bloody, sick, riveting. I knew that Jacob would be provided for romantically, but I did not anticipate the object of his imprinting. His connection to Bella's offspring nicely tidies up that strand of the story line.

In the end, it's all cheap thrills... give me more.